Being

Meaning, life, freedom. 72 poems.

01 Когда пишу от руки - буквы Когда пишу от руки - буквы нарезают рвы. Я задыхаюсь в смыслах - они, как белуги, переливают свои голоса в зазубренные… MMXXVI
02 Google, build a road Google, build a road to the living, forgotten God. And it answers — Four Oh Four: a ban on dreaming of the marvellous,… MMXXVI
03 In this rain every day — it's all one and In this rain every day — it's all one and the same. It falls so long that puddles dammed up in my eyes. Today I forgot… MMXXVI
04 Red, like a brand in memory, — Red, like a brand in memory, — Shameful, but bright. White wants to be left alone. Black grabs tight, flooding every th… MMXXVI
05 With scissors out of the fog I cut out With scissors out of the fog I cut out origami - carefully drawing out lines and intricate images of the past into some… MMXXV
06 The trees stood in a queue — The trees stood in a queue — to drop their leaves — obediently to freeze in the autumn, to stop grabbing air — To halt.… MMXXV
07 Silence — is also a text. Keeping quiet Silence — is also a text. Keeping quiet jams the syntax of the yell. Years went by — there was no way out of this way i… MMXXV
08 There logic Smashes Against some kind of There logic Smashes Against some kind of Subcutaneous chemistry — She read All my poems — can you imagine? — And blocke… MMXXV
09 Caught myself on the thought, that I haven't eaten for three, Caught myself on the thought, that I haven't eaten for three, or maybe four weeks homemade, straight out of childhood,… MMXXV
10 There, where there was a Home There, where there was a Home yesterday, straw smoulders to the tune of a round dance, that Freedom — feminine gender —… MMXXV
11 I today am writing I today am writing only to you The Most Important Lines… And you look at them, thinking to yourself, The fuck for?.. to… MMXXV
12 And what do you even need this truth for? Better to take And what do you even need this truth for? Better to take a bare wire in your teeth, on a tongue made of words put up lo… MMXXV
13 You'll die for me, fixing your bangs. You'll die for me, fixing your bangs. Forgetting words past you in trousers will walk the clouds, and the neighbour fro… MMXXV
14 I stopped writing: as if, I hadn't existed I stopped writing: as if, I hadn't existed not yesterday, not today. And it went empty between the window and the chair… MMXXIV
15 Around you I can't eat, the bite won't go down my throat. It turns me inside out. Around you I can't eat, the bite won't go down my throat. It turns me inside out. Take the whiskey for yourself, and fo… MMXXIV
16 You will be hated by the living, You will be hated by the living, who lived alongside you, and walked on past. And those who died – for no reason or for… MMXXIV
17 A crooked lane by the Louvre. Summer in Paris. A crooked lane by the Louvre. Summer in Paris. Behind an old moped shamelessly crawls a dirty lorry. In the cab Nirvana… MMXXIV
18 It's hard to take a step. The sign – to the right; The red eye of the traffic light It's hard to take a step. The sign – to the right; The red eye of the traffic light looks to the left. You want to go s… MMXXIV
19 The Professor. That's what they called him – A White Suit, The Professor. That's what they called him – A White Suit, A cheerful temper: Beer in the morning Evening – cognac. On… MMXXIV
20 In white blossom the birches opened out. You thought, In white blossom the birches opened out. You thought, that it would be stylish, to smear across this bark with rock sal… MMXXIV
21 "We – are minds", - in our eyes galaxies flicker. "We – are minds", - in our eyes galaxies flicker. "You – alas", - something stops you shining: either Balenciagas, or g… MMXXIV
22 A high-voltage song straight into your ears, tune in to the wave A high-voltage song straight into your ears, tune in to the wave and carefully listen to the current. Shake the sky, sc… MMXXII
23 The cat went missing, a dog turned up. Life — a skew off the norm: you can roll off with no wheels The cat went missing, a dog turned up. Life — a skew off the norm: you can roll off with no wheels onto the wrong road.… MMXXII
24 So slowly and carefully your world presses So slowly and carefully your world presses right in under my skin: in swells and hopelessly swims and blazes reason. It… MMXXII
25 This heart is a thousand years old, he isn't like other people. Yesterday you decided to shed light on him, This heart is a thousand years old, he isn't like other people. Yesterday you decided to shed light on him, but spilled… MMXXII
26 And the phosphorus burning in bones, and the sharp dirk of thought will help, while I'm a guest at yours, And the phosphorus burning in bones, and the sharp dirk of thought will help, while I'm a guest at yours, to steal, ste… MMXXII
27 People are like islands: White sand will greet you, but in fact it's water all over the place: People are like islands: White sand will greet you, but in fact it's water all over the place: a drain for sharp rocks… MMXXII
28 I'll brush the paranoia off, Without eating a single pill, I'll chase it down with time, I'll brush the paranoia off, Without eating a single pill, I'll chase it down with time, Sit the past on my knees. But… MMXXII
29 For hundreds of years one and the same question Who we really are For hundreds of years one and the same question Who we really are A stump, a mouse's tail Or people of great faith? We… MMXXII
30 Smashing into constellations on the march, night is late for the visit. today it got a century older, Smashing into constellations on the march, night is late for the visit. today it got a century older, the pond round th… MMXXII
31 They left in white And said goodbye to everyone in silence, They left in white And said goodbye to everyone in silence, Not looking around for meaning, As if they feared someone's… MMXXII
32 In the head, right at the bottom, They quietly registered me. Then I'll live in a dream, In the head, right at the bottom, They quietly registered me. Then I'll live in a dream, Since they drove me out of wak… MMXXII
33 Morning. Coffee. A hangover in the rain makes an umbrella useless. Morning. Coffee. A hangover in the rain makes an umbrella useless. You're off the grid. The phone rings. And someone yo… MMXXII
34 I read in the cellars of Versailles to old rats I read in the cellars of Versailles to old rats poems in French. A light-grey, pale pack squints one eye, drinks wine a… MMXX
35 Stop the taxi. I'm getting out. Or a bit wider Stop the taxi. I'm getting out. Or a bit wider open the window. Where are you taking me? An hour ago right where I need… MMXX
36 On the clock - a quarter to three, I have just turned On the clock - a quarter to three, I have just turned five minutes short of eternity. I saw how in a dance a candle fla… MMXX
37 We all look like museums of fears, we go on judging We all look like museums of fears, we go on judging by the colour of skin, we put on a pious face, and at the same time… MMXX
38 Can I ask you straight out, Not over vodka? I doubt I'll destroy you with this. Can I ask you straight out, Not over vodka? I doubt I'll destroy you with this. These trends of what's going on Have ro… MMXX
39 Yesterday you stopped Eating for breakfast Good thoughts Yesterday you stopped Eating for breakfast Good thoughts You were left one On one with this Virus of words. Your dreams… MMXX
40 Neither white nor black, Nor pockets full of immortality: If only a shot of something fresh Neither white nor black, Nor pockets full of immortality: If only a shot of something fresh For ordinary heirs of the g… MMXX
41 That autumn day after day showered the trees with flattery. That autumn day after day showered the trees with flattery. And painted the leaves with fire with a touch of noble reve… MMXX
42 You flip through days — behind them people, and somewhere far off, You flip through days — behind them people, and somewhere far off, like a hive lives stirred up, in a moment dreams cut… MMXX
43 I was taught by Van Gogh's paintings, that God — I was taught by Van Gogh's paintings, that God — is Nature. Either horns of plenty, or the bullet of a young and viciou… MMXX
44 Play parting with me. I see a secret meaning — to keep your smile Play parting with me. I see a secret meaning — to keep your smile until the next meeting, to run the events back, casti… MMXX
45 The shark is beautiful Dangerous, playful Those red teeth and that ginger mane The shark is beautiful Dangerous, playful Those red teeth and that ginger mane Blow up my little world I'm closer to th… MMXVII
46 If some people lived only rightly And others – not so much, If some people lived only rightly And others – not so much, Then the brain would float not in a grey, But in a white or… MMXVII
47 Every day, beside myself, I aim a tornado At the house burned down by loving. Every day, beside myself, I aim a tornado At the house burned down by loving. All that's needed For life is love. I cou… MMXVII
48 Don't forget why you're here, What you daydream of every hour! Tear but don't tear through that thread, Don't forget why you're here, What you daydream of every hour! Tear but don't tear through that thread, That briskly ho… MMXVII
49 To live in taboo At an amble, But in an even delirium. To live in taboo At an amble, But in an even delirium. To trust neither yourself, Nor your worst enemy. To cut the ends… MMXVII
50 The ball of reality is tangled, And there's no needle at hand, That knits the thread of what's actual The ball of reality is tangled, And there's no needle at hand, That knits the thread of what's actual And of the virtua… MMXVII
51 You're curious, like, what am I up to? What difference does it actually make? Because only in your head am I a troublemaker. You're curious, like, what am I up to? What difference does it actually make? Because only in your head am I a troublem… MMXVII
52 How deep into a person's consciousness To fill up the virtual world. To become the centre of the digital age, How deep into a person's consciousness To fill up the virtual world. To become the centre of the digital age, To find o… MMXVII
53 Thoughts about a future free of want, I laid morals down like straw. Traded off a growing dream, Thoughts about a future free of want, I laid morals down like straw. Traded off a growing dream, Tossed it screaming In… MMXVII
54 Wildly insane Unreasoning creature, In places Wildly insane Unreasoning creature, In places Golden-emerald, In chunks With bright paints Blown apart, Steeped in herb… MMXVII
55 A beautiful face, A clear intonation, An anxious breathiness, A beautiful face, A clear intonation, An anxious breathiness, Tremor and grace. Broadcasts messages from the screen, Th… MMXVII
56 Provocative speeches Pull at the tongue To pick the question up Provocative speeches Pull at the tongue To pick the question up And heave the load onto your shoulders. The growl of co… MMXVII
57 No sense in pushing on further, Not a platoon but a regiment of nerves. Squeeze the trigger, and at your feet No sense in pushing on further, Not a platoon but a regiment of nerves. Squeeze the trigger, and at your feet A seasone… MMXVII
58 Measured breathing, The load of a long distance. Gradual getting used to it Measured breathing, The load of a long distance. Gradual getting used to it And a reboot. A state of meditation. Smooth… MMXVII
59 You're the silver fox yourself And a braggart! I've seen plenty like you, You're the silver fox yourself And a braggart! I've seen plenty like you, For you it's enough to act like a nutcase, Wh… MMXVII
60 I am independent Beautiful and Clever High-mountain and rare grass! I am independent Beautiful and Clever High-mountain and rare grass! To find myself a pastime, A flight of thinking, an… MMXVII
61 Tell me about yourself. I've forgotten about people. Among the white shards Tell me about yourself. I've forgotten about people. Among the white shards Of the ice of dead seas. Tell me about home… MMXVII
62 A crime against nature. Too grandiose, is it..? Anticipating the features of the breed A crime against nature. Too grandiose, is it..? Anticipating the features of the breed It's no joy waiting for your sha… MMXVII
63 A fighter's deadliest weapon — Not fists broken in brawls, And not kevlar, not armour. A fighter's deadliest weapon — Not fists broken in brawls, And not kevlar, not armour. But the Maker's mark you miss at… MMXVII
64 I laid out a garden Of living stones A coral façade I laid out a garden Of living stones A coral façade Of bright shadows. Of the sea's depth A storm of shades. The light… MMXVII
65 We are the wrappers of our own mind, Garish cases. On brands We are the wrappers of our own mind, Garish cases. On brands and assorted slogans We feed and entertain ourselves. And… MMXVII
66 You betrayed the ideal of the revolution, And it isn't that anyone got scared. It's calmer to live without lectures and scolding. You betrayed the ideal of the revolution, And it isn't that anyone got scared. It's calmer to live without lectures and… MMXVII
67 Kakitsubata — What kind of beast are you? Lightning-quick, Kakitsubata — What kind of beast are you? Lightning-quick, Steeped in thunderstorm from head to toe! Why do you climb i… MMXVII
68 The dogs of Catalonia wag their tails at me. Let's do it without irony, The dogs of Catalonia wag their tails at me. Let's do it without irony, people come at them with a question: Did you de… MMXVII
69 Grown up for a long time now, it seems, And you understand, that this option isn't yours, Grown up for a long time now, it seems, And you understand, that this option isn't yours, But you reach out just to be… MMXVII
70 The sharp razor of reason with one dangerous stroke Recut the soul's achievements. The sharp razor of reason with one dangerous stroke Recut the soul's achievements. The year turned into lost time, And… MMXVII
71 The aftertaste of meetings, The residue of beautiful movements From the neck to the curve of the shoulders. The aftertaste of meetings, The residue of beautiful movements From the neck to the curve of the shoulders. Of careful… MMXVII
72 To live, The instinct of self-preservation To jam without mercy To live, The instinct of self-preservation To jam without mercy To breathe over the abyss, To burn out with no result,… MMXVII

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